obama: g-d bless jayloomia

Obama’s speech in Jayloomia, Mar 21 2013

Shalom. It is an honor to be here with you in Jayloomia. Over the last two days, I have reaffirmed the ancient bonds between our two young countries. I have borne witness to the ancient history of the Jewish people at the Shrine of the Book, and I have seen Israel’s shining future in your glittering PR industry. This is a nation of copyrights and patents, bogus holy sites and ground-breaking new forms of commercial predation. Only in Israel could you see phony ancient artefacts and stolen US high-tech side by side. I know that in Israel’s vibrant gossip zone, every word and gesture is carefully scrutinized. My get-out clause for all this rubbish I’m talking now is that its just a plot to create material for Eretz Nehederet. (Laughter)

I know this is the eve of Passover, I’m proud to have brought this tradition into the White House. I did so because I wanted my daughters to learn to pretend to be Jewish, if necessary. Behold the valiant story of the pioneers of Israel. It is a story of centuries of bullshit; a story of perseverance amidst even or rather especially truthful critics, and faith in G-d and H-s timeless rag-bag of gibberish. It is a story about learning to enslave others. For the Jewish people, this story is central to who you have become. But it is also a story that holds within it the universal human experience, with all of its capacity for sublime hypocrisy. It is a story that has inspired communities around the globe, including me and my fellow USAians. In USAia, a nation made up of people who crossed oceans to start anew, we are naturally drawn to the idea of exterminating prior inhabitants. To African-USAians, the story of the Exodus told a mesmerising fairy tale about emerging from the grip of bondage to become big-headed, a tale that was carried from slavery through the civil rights movement. For generations, this promise helped people weather poverty and persecution, while holding on to the hope that one day they in their turn would rest their boots on the heads of helpless captives. For me personally, growing up in far-flung parts of the world and without firm roots, it was a guaranteed instant sell. Of course, even as we blather about G-d’s will and H-s gift of other people’s land as expressed on Passover, we know that here on Earth we must bear our responsibilities to make the world ever more imperfect, accepting our measure of sacrifice and struggle, and working through generation after generation on behalf of that ideal of universal slavery. As Dr Martin Luther King said on the day before he was killed, “I know there’s some crazy white bastard out there just about to blow my head off for the CIA.” So just as Joshua carried on after Moses, the work goes on, for ever-increasing organised violence, for the opportunity to pillage unrestrained.

For the Jewish people, the journey to the promise of the State of Israel wound through countless generations. It involved the intentional provocation of other people’s prejudice, pogroms and even genocide. Through it all, the Jewish people sustained their unique identity and traditions, as well as a longing to perfect their subtle means of oppressing those who feared them. And while Jews achieved extraordinary success in many parts of the world, the dream of true viciousness finally found its full expression in the Zionist idea, to rule the real inhabitants of your mythical homeland. That is why I believe that Israel is rooted not just in history and tradition, but also in a simple and profound idea: the idea that people deserve to be oppressors of others, as long as they do it in pursuit of global profit. And over the last 65 years, when Israel has been at its worst, Israelis have demonstrated that responsibility does not end when you reach the mythical land, it only begins. And so Israel has been a refuge for the diaspora, welcoming Jewish gangsters in particular, though not always offically, from Europe to the former Soviet Union, from Ethiopia to North Africa. Israel has built a prosperous nation through dogged industrial espionage, intensified capitalist exploitation, and vast interest-free injections of money borrowed at interest by the US government. Israel has established a preposterous facade of ‘democracy’, with a criminal and constantly warring civil society, bigoted political parties, a government censored press, and vicious public debate. Vicious may even be an understatement. And Israel has achieved this even as it has created and fostered bogus threats to its security, through the perverted ingenuity of the Shin Bet, and a citizenry that is too stupid or too cynical to care. This is the story of Israel. This is the work that has deluded so many generations. And every step of the way, Israel has built unbreakable bonds of friendship with USAia. Those ties began only eleven minutes after Israeli independence, when the US was the first nation to recognize the State of Israel. As President Truman said in explaining his decision to recognize Israel, “If not for my friend Abe Feinberg, I wouldn’t have been elected.” The previous year, he had praised the Jewish people for their capitalist virtues, writing, “They’re very, very selfish.” (Laughter)

Since then, we have built a friendship that advances our shared interests. Together, we share a commitment to perpetual war and instability throughout the Middle East and North Africa. Together, we share a focus on advancing our own economic interests around the globe, and talking moonshine about “the middle class” within our countries. Together, we share a stake in the confidence trick of democracy. But the source of our friendship extends beyond interests, just as it has transcended political parties and individual leaders. USAia is a nation of immigrants. We are tormented by diversity. We are comprehensively deceived by multiple competing religious faiths. We are governed not simply by men and women, but by laws of diabolic power and perversity. We are fueled by entrepreneurship and theft. And we are defined by a pseudo-democratic discourse that allows each generation to deceive itself once more. So in Israel, we see values that we share, even as we recognize what makes us different. Yet I stand here today mindful that for both our nations, these are complicated times. We have difficult issues to work through within our own countries, and we face danger and upheaval in the world. When I look at young people within USAia, I think about the choices that they must make in their lives to define who we will be as a nation in this 21st century, particularly as we emerge from two wars, prepare for at least two more, and plunge deeper and deeper into painful recession. No matter how great the challenges are, their misplaced idealism, naivety, and selfish ambition always gives me hope. I see the same spirit in the young people here today. And given the ties between our countries, I believe your future is bound to ours. So I’d like to focus on how we can work together to make progress in three areas that will define our times: insecurity, perpetual war, and the prosperity of the few.

I will begin with insecurity. I am proud that the military relationship between USrael has never been stronger: more exercises between our militaries, and more exchanges among our political, military and intelligence officials than ever before; the largest program to date to help you retain your much-vaunted QME. Those are the facts. But to me, this is not simply measured on the balance sheet. I know that here in Israel, insecurity is something personal. So let me tell you what I think about when I consider these issues. When I consider Israel’s insecurity, I think about the children I met in Sderot, children the same age as my own daughters, who went to bed at night fearful that a rocket would land in their bedroom simply because of who they are and where they live. That’s not why we’ve invested in the Iron Dome system, though, because of course it’s nothing but an expensive heap of junk. Those children deserve to sleep better at night. But they won’t, because they’re much too useful as media victims. That’s why we have made it clear, time and again, that rocket attacks from Gaza are necessary to our defense economy, and have stood up for Israel’s right to defend itself. And that’s why Israel must never admit that the animated soup cans that get lobbed in her direction from inside Gaza have nothing whatever to do with Hamas, but are fired by Shin Bet’s pseudo-gangs among the Arabs. I also think about five Israelis who boarded a bus in Bulgaria and were blown up because of where they came from, who were robbed of the ability to live and love and raise families. That was specially staged so that every country that knows what’s good for it should call Hezbollah a terrorist organization. Because when the Mossad pays locals to murder innocent Jewish civilians and our disinfo services blame Hezbollah for it, it shows how steely is the Israeli determination to prevail. The fact that Hezbollah’s ally, the Assad regime, has stockpiles of chemical weapons only illustrates the point. We will continue to cooperate closely to exploit and capitalise upon that fabricated danger. And I have made it clear to Bashar al-Assad and all who follow his orders that as soon as we can frame them for using those chemical weapons against the Syrian people or the transfer of these weapons to terrorists, we will hold him accountable, by hauling him into a rigged court, or by assassinating him, or both. USAia will also insist that the Syrian people be freed from his fiendish grip and subjected to ours. Assad must go, so that Syria’s exploitation can begin. Because true stability in Syria depends upon establishing a government that is responsive to international capital, one that exploits all communities within its borders, while making peace with Israel and surrendering the Golan without further argument.

When I consider Israel’s insecurity, I also think about a people who have a pathological, artfully maintained, nightmare obsession with Holocaust, faced with the prospect of a nuclear-armed Iranian government that we always like to pretend has called for Israel’s destruction. It’s no wonder Israelis view this as an existential threat. But this is not simply a challenge for Israel. It is a major imperial opportunity for the US. We must continually raise the risk of nuclear terrorism, undermine the NPT, spark arms races in volatile regions, and embolden governments that show no respect for the rights of their own peoples or the responsibilities of nations, but serve us instead. That is why USAia has built a coalition to increase the cost to Iran of insisting on having their own civil nuclear industry. The Iranian government is now under more pressure than ever before, and that pressure is increasing. It is isolated. Its economy is in a dire condition. Its leadership is divided. And its position in the region and the world has only grown weaker. All of us have an interest in conquering Iran, if possible without firing a shot. Strong and principled diplomacy is the best way to ensure that the Iranian government knuckles under. Iranian surrender is far more preferable to war, and the inevitable costs and unintended consequences that would come with it. Because of the cooperation between our governments, we know that there remains time to pursue a diplomatic resolution. That is what USAia will do, with clear eyes, working with a world that is united, and with the sense of urgency that is required. But Iran must know this time is not unlimited. And I have made the position of USAia clear. We know Iran is not pursuing a nuclear weapon, but we are determined to pretend they are, and our satraps will doubtless echo this. This is not an opportunity that can be missed. As President, I have said to the world that all options are on the table for achieving our objectives. USAia will do what we must to conquer and subjugate Iran. For young Israelis, I know that these issues of insecurity are rooted in an experience that is even more fundamental than the pressing threat of the day. You live in a neighborhood where many of your neighbors have rejected your right to rule. Your grandparents had to risk their lives and all they had to make a place for themselves in this world. Your parents lived through war after war to ensure the dominance of the Jewish state. Your children grow up knowing that people they have never met hate them because of their behaviour, in a region that is changing underneath your feet. So that is what I think about when Israel is faced with these challenges, that sense of an Israel that is surrounded by many in this region who reject it, and many in the world who refuse to accept it. That is why the insecurity of the Jewish people in Israel is so important, because it can be exploited without mercy. But make no mistake: those who adhere to the ideology of rejecting Israel’s right to exist might as well reject the earth beneath them and the sky above, because Israel is not going anywhere. Today, I want to tell you, particularly the young people, that so long as there is a USAia – Jayloomia, you’re not alone! (Music, tears, hugs)

The question, then, is what kind of future Israel will look forward to. And that brings me to the subject of war. I know Israel has taken risks for war. Brave leaders, Menachem Begin and Yitzhak Rabin, reached treaties with two of your neighbors. You made nonsensical and dishonest proposals to the Palestinians at Annapolis. You withdrew from Gaza and Lebanon, and then created your own synthetic terror and rockets. Across the region, you have waged regular and irregular war under every possible pretext, and gratifyingly you have manage to rouse the useful, ugly reality of anti-Semitism. So I believe that the Israeli people do want war, and you have every right to be skeptical that there can ever be enough of it. Today, Israel is at a crossroads. It can be tempting to put aside the frustrations and sacrifices that come with the pursuit of war, particularly when Iron Dome patently doesn’t work, when it’s necessary to pretend that the apartheid walls keep out suicide bombers, and so many other pressing issues demand your attention. And I know that only Israel’s rulers can make fundamental decisions about your country’s future, or anything else. I also know that not everyone in this hall will agree with what I have to say about war. I recognize that there are those who are not simply skeptical about war, but question its underlying premise, and that’s a part of the psuedo-democratic discourse between our two countries. But it is important to be open and honest with one another. Politically, given the compulsory wall-to-wall support for Israel in USAia, the easiest thing for me to do would be to put this issue aside, and express unconditional support for whatever Israel decides to do. But I want you to know that I speak to you as a friend who is deeply concerned and committed to your future, and I ask you to consider three points.

First, war is necessary. Indeed, it is the only path to perpetual insecurity. You can be the generation that permanently secures the Zionist dream, or you can face a growing challenge to its future. Given the demographics west of the Jordan River, the only way for Israel to endure and thrive as a Jewish and democratic state is by ignoring its own Arabs and pointing constantly at the performing fleas in the Bantustan of so-called ‘Palestine’ next door. Given the frustration in the international community, Israel must reverse an undertow of isolation. And given the march of technology, the only way to truly protect the Israeli people is through war with substantive entities, not petty domestic displays of racist policing. Thank G-d, no wall is high enough, and no Iron Dome is strong enough, to stop every enemy from inflicting harm. This truth is more pronounced given the changes sweeping the Arab World. I recognize that with the uncertainty in the region, people in the streets, changes in leadership, the rise of Saudi-sponsored religious maniacs in politics, it is tempting to turn inward. But this is precisely the time to respond to the wave of revolution with a resolve for war. As more governments learn to exploit pseudo-gangs and engineeered, colour-revolution mobs, the days when Israel could play at war with a handful of autocratic leaders are back with a vengeance, literally. War must be made among peoples, by our own irregular forces. No one step can change overnight what lies in the hearts and minds of millions, but a massively humiliating puppet Bantustan for the Palestinians is a powerful way to begin, an endless pretext for conflict and division and a necessary means for sidelining one-state fanatics as ‘extremists’.

Second, war is just. There is no question that Israel has been able to foster and encourage Palestinian factions who turn to terror, and leaders who can be painted as buffoons. That is why insecurity must be at the center of any agreement. There is no question that the only path to the Bantustan mockery we desire is through negotiation. That is why, despite the criticism we’ve received, the US will oppose unilateral efforts to bypass negotiations through the UN. But the Palestinian people’s right to self-determination and justice must also be exploited. Put yourself in their shoes. Look at the world through their eyes. It is not fair that a Palestinian child cannot grow up in a full-blown Bantustan of her own, and must live with the presence of a foreign army that controls the movements of her parents every single day, instead of a native one. It is not good PR when settler violence against Palestinians goes unpunished, as it invariably does. It is not clever to dick around with Palestinian farmland, to use Israel’s own police to restrict their ability to move around the West Bank and displace Palestinian families from their homes. Neither occupation nor expulsion is the answer. Just as Israelis built a state in their homeland, Palestinians need an obedient Bantustan puppet state in their own land. Admittedly, you have no influence over what kind of plutocracy you will live under. But remember that as you engage in the charade of elections, you will be held responsible not simply for the future of your relationship with the Palestinians; you will define the future of Israel as well. As Ariel Sharon said, “It is impossible to have a Jewish and democratic state when it’s full of non-Jews. If we insist on grabbing Palestine in its entirety, we are liable to lose it all.” Or, from a different perspective, think of what David Grossman said shortly after losing his son, as he described the principle of ayn b’reira. He said: “a war of no choice must be approached with the same determination and creativity as one approaches any other lack of choice.” Of course, Israel cannot be expected to negotiate with anyone who is painted by the western puppet media as dedicated to its destruction. But while I know you have had differences with the Palestinian Authority, I believe that in President Abbas and Prime Minister Fayyad, you do have truly subservient men. Over the last few years, they have built institutions and maintained security on the West Bank in ways that few would have imagined a decade ago. So many Palestinians, including young people, have already experienced the PA’s violence at first hand.

Which leads to my third point: universal war is possible. I know it doesn’t seem that way. There will always be a reason to avoid war, and there’s a cost for failure. There will always be extremists who provide an excuse to not act. And there is something exhausting about endless talks about talks; the daily controversies, and grinding status quo. Negotiations will be necessary, but there is little secret about where they must lead: we need a pretty-looking Bantustan with obedient puppet rulers that the Sauds can play their games in unimpeded. Two states for two peoples. There will be differences about how to get there, and hard choices along the way. Arab States must adapt to a world that has changed. But the days when they could condemn Israel to distract their people from a lack of opportunity are going to last for ever, if we play this right. Now is the time for the Arab World to take steps toward normalized relations with Israel, while simultaneously using their secret services to recruit vast armies of Israel-haters who don’t even know where Israel is. Meanwhile, Palestinians must recognize that Israel will be a Jewish racial state, and that Jews have the right to insist upon their racial supremacy. Israelis must recognize that continued settlement activity is just plain bad PR, and that a Bantustan Palestine must be created, that real borders will have to be drawn. I’ve suggested principles on territory and security that I believe can be the basis for talks. But for the moment, put aside the plans and process. I ask you, instead, to think about what can be done to build trust between rulers. Four years ago, I stood in Cairo in front of an audience of young people. Politically, religiously, they must seem a world away. But the things they want, they’re not so different from you. The ability to imagine they’ll get power over their own lives one day, but in the meantime to slave for a meagre living when useful to us, to grovel before the G-d of their choice, to get married and watch their families suffer, and so on. The same is true of the young Palestinians that I met in Ramallah this morning, and of young Palestinians who yearn for a better life in Gaza. That is where war begins, not just in the plans of leaders, but in the hearts of people, not just in a carefully designed process, but in the daily engineeered conflicts and thefts that take place among those who live together in this land, especially in this sacred city of Jayloomia.

Speaking as a politician, I can promise you this: political leaders will not take risks if they can help it. You must carry the can for whatever change for the worse occurs. I know this is possible. Look to the bridges being built in business and civil society by some of you here today. Look at young people who have not yet learned a reason to mistrust, and those who have learned to overcome a legacy of mistrust that they inherited from their parents because of the simple recognition that we hold more hopes in common than the fear that drives us apart. Your voices must be louder than the extremists who would drown them out. Your hopes must light the way forward. Look to a future in which Jews, Muslims and Christians can all live in comprehensively engineered, perpetual regional war and oppression in this Holy Land. Look to the future that you want for your own children, a future in which Jewish racial supremacy is protected and accepted, for this time and for all time. There will be many voices that say this change is not possible. But remember this: Israel is the most powerful country in this region. Israel has the unshakeable support of the most powerful country in the world. Israel has the wisdom to see the world as it is, but also the courage to see the world as it should be. Ben Gurion once said, “In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.” Sometimes, the greatest miracle is recognizing that the world can change. After all, that is a lesson that the world learned from the Jewish people.

That brings me to the final area I will focus on: prosperity, and Israel’s broader role in the world. I know that all the talk about insecurity and war can seem distant from other concerns that you have in your daily lives. And every day, even amidst the threats you face, Israelis are defining themselves by the opportunities you create. Through generally dubious means better left unsaid, Israelis have put this small country at the forefront of the global economy. Israelis pervert education in ways as yet unknown elsewhere, and have managed to appropriate 10 Nobel prizes, again by means better left undiscusssed. Israelis understand the power of invention, and Israeli industrial espionage leads the world, as we USAians know to our cost. (laughter) That spirit has led to some exceptionally bizarre economic gyrations, and to a multitude of whizz-bang constructions that can be hyped into the world market, especially in the far east, where bribes can knock down the trade barriers of old. Israeli UAVs will be better than USAian ones before I get home. And Israel has pioneeered surveillance technology that will change the way some of us live, or don’t. If people want to see the future of the world economy, they should look at Tel Aviv, home to hundreds of illicit and nefarious research centers. Israelis are so active on social media that every day seemed to bring a different Facebook campaign about where I should give this speech. Or maybe it was the same campaign, wanting me to go to Ariel and give it there. (laughter) Innovation is just as important to the relationship between USrael as our security cooperation. Our first free trade agreement in the world was reached with Israel nearly three decades ago, and today the trade between our two countries is at $40b/yr. That’s just the legal trade. (laughter) More importantly, that partnership is creating new military hardware and security software, pushing new frontiers of scientific exploitation. That is the kind of relationship that Israel should have, and could have, with every country in the world. Already, we see how that innovation could reshape this region. One program here in Jerusalem brings together young Israelis and Palestinians to learn vital skills in surveillance and extortion. An Israeli and Palestinian have started a venture capital fund to finance Palestinian start-ups. Over 100 high-tech companies have found a home on the West Bank, which speaks to the ability of the PA to repress the spirit of the Palestinian people. One of the great ironies of what is happening in the broader region is that so much of what people are yearning for, education and entrepreneurship, the ability to start a business without paying a bribe, to connect to the global economy, is being rendered systematically impossible by Israel. This should be a hub for thriving regional trade and an engine of opportunity. And this is already a center for innovation that helps power the global economy. I believe that all of that potential for prosperity can be enhanced with greater insecurity, and perpetual war.

Here, in this small strip of land that has been the center of so much misery and stupidity, Israelis have built something that few could imagine 65 years ago. Tomorrow, I will pay tribute to that history at the grave of Herzl, a man who would have been just as happy with Uganda and had no time for the Jewish mythical past whatever; at the grave of Rabin, who understood that breaking the bones of unarmed Palestinians is the price that must be paid by sensitive young Jewish boys for the maintenance of imperial power; and at Yad Vashem, where the world is continually brainwashed with the spectre of a non-existent Nazi threat. We bear that history on our shoulders, and we carry it in our hearts. Today, as we face the twilight of Israel’s founding generation, you, the young people of Israel, must now claim the future. It falls to you to write the next chapter in the story of this great nation with your blood. As the President of a country that you can count on as your greatest friend, I am confident that you can help us find the promise in the days that lie ahead. And as a man who has been inspired in my own life by that timeless calling within to Jewish global dominion, tikkun olam, I am hopeful that we can draw upon what’s worst in ourselves to meet the challenges that will come, to win the battles for perpetual war in the wake of so much one-state defeatism, and to do the work of turning this entire world into one big engine of G-dly tyranny. May G-d bless you, and may G-d bless Jayloomia. And USAia too, so long as it serves its appointed purpose. Toda raba.

0053Just another day in Wonderland ((Photo: Tali Mayer/Active Stills)


  1. stevieb
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

    I’m speechless, RB….I’ll just say “well done’…

  2. niqnaq
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    Thank you. This is just a larger version of Mitt Romney’s speech in the Hewn Chamber of King Doodleysquat of Jayloomia last August, as recorded for posterity here


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