Ashtray: Iraq Politics Won’t Stall Beefed up Military Fight
Lolita Baldor, AP, Apr 11 2016
Ashtray Carter said Monday that struggles within the Iraq government won’t stall the Pindo military campaign to beef up the fight against ISIS there. Hell, no! He intends for the Pentagon to demand from the Toads, Gulf Sheikhs, etc next week to help in a broader effort to rebuild Iraq once ISIS is defeated. Obama and various important-looking boxtops are expected to attend the Grand Pindo-GCC Leaders’ Megalomaniacal Festival of Galactic Domination next week in Toad Hall. Ashtray delivered himself of various remarks in high Pentagonese while visiting a boat of the Pindo fleet in Goa. He said:
Economically, it’s important that the destruction that’s occurred be repaired and we’re looking to help the Iraqis with that. The reconstruction will be a global effort. I believe that one of the things that the president will want to raise with the Gulf partners when he meets with them at the end of next week, will be their ability to participate in that economic issue (The term ‘partners’ is just nonsense now, strategically, though maybe not financially – RB).
Ashtray does not expect that Iraq’s ‘political problems’ will impede the roll-out of Pindo military might. Nothing on earth, after all, can stop the legions of the apocalypse. The Pentagon is preparing recommendations on ways to increase support for Iraq’s ground fight, including a likely increase in Pindo forces. Other options could include using Apache helicopters for combat missions, deploying more Pindo SOF or using Pindo military advisers in Iraqi units closer to the front lines. Anyway, said Ashtray:
We’re going to accelerate the military campaign as fast as we can!
Iraqi forces are shuffling their feet and boxtops are saying grand things about them as usual: “Momentum has been growing in the fight against ISIS,” the usual shit like that. Jackass during a visit to Baghdad last Friday pledged $155m in glowing Pindosi fantasy doubloons for Iraq and offered a show of political support to Iraq’s beleaguered PM Puppet Victim (Hang Him Now) Abadi, who is, as you all know, struggling with ongoing sectarian challenges as the government grapples with economic problems and corruption, like his predecessor in fact and just the way we want him, ha! Lots more voodoo claims like that from me, Lolita, wow, you ought to see me swinging from the chandelier. Boxtops have consistently said that the government must quell its sectarian divide in order to defeat ISIS across the country and prepare for the aftermath of rebuilding. Ashtray was actually in Goa when he said all the above. I am also here in Goa. It is groovy in the extreme. This is just the first stop on an expansive two-week swing through Asia and the Middle East. I’m really feeling like a true Lolita this morning, believe me.