if you want to see this fellow as a comedian, this picture will help

The Ruins Vote In Volodymyr
AP via Haaretz, Apr 14 2016

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The Jewish speaker of the Ukrainian parliament, Volodymyr Groysman, has been elected prime minister after a months-long political crisis. The parliament on Thursday voted 250-57 for Groysman, who was nominated by Poroshenko. Yatsenyuk resigned earlier this week after weeks of pressure for him to step down. He had survived a no-confidence vote in February. Groysman has been perceived as a conciliatory figure after the governing coalition refused to support Jaresko (who the Pindo Jews wanted straight away, but will now have to wait for – RB). Speaking ahead of the vote, Groysman said his government was committed to tackling graft and strengthening ties with the EU. In fact, the usual shit:

I understand the threats that face us. In particular, I would like to highlight three threats which do not pose less of a threat than the enemy in eastern Ukraine: corruption, ineffective governance, and populism. … I shall show you what leading a country really means!

Groysman is a former mayor of the city of Vinnytsia, and was an active member of the local Jewish community. Groysman’s Jewishness is not very unusual even for a mayor and senior politician in Ukraine, where 360,000 Jews live (You can say that again! The political class appears to be about 90% Jews – RB). But, said the local rabbi, Shaul Horowitz (completely mendaciously, but Jews must at all times be sold as fools’ gold, and this is how – RB), his openness about it was not customary in a country where anti-Semitism and decades of Communist repression once made it undesirable for politicians to be seen as too Jewish (from time to time, Mossad and the CIA kill Jews and frame communists for their murders – RB). Last year, his reputation as an honest and effective administrator (this is standard sales hype, just like washing powder: there is no difference between a journalist and an advertising copywriter when it comes to core issues such as the Jewish superiority over the rest of humanity, whether in sheer civilizedness or in readiness to pay for quick sex in the car – RB) earned Groysman the title of speaker of the Ukrainian parliament before Thursday’s vote that made him the first openly Jewish person to hold the country’s second highest post and, at 38, the youngest person to have the job. Josef Zissels, a leader of the Vaad organization of Ukrainian Jews (Remember this fucker, right under the local Mossad station – RB), pointed to Groysman’s ascent in politics as proof of the absence of serious anti-Semitism in Ukraine (see how the nonsense switchbacks – RB). Russia regularly points to the country’s alleged anti-Semitism to justify its conflict with Ukraine, including the annexation of Crimea. (Thus, the immediate gain from these political puppet placings is anti-Putin froth and bullshit – RB). Zissels said of the claims (and we really can’t be bothered even to write the quotes properly, and give them more than a slogan level of meaning – RB):

Clearly, Groysman’s nomination shows the opposite!

Horowitz is among those who believe Groysman will succeed where others have failed. The rabbi points to Groysman’s record as mayor in his native Vinnytsia, saying (another sort of glowing shit-in-mouth opinion, and untrue to boot, he talks like a fucking drain – RB):

He’s a man of action, who doesn’t talk too much but gets a lot done!

When Groysman, a lawyer with a background in business, became mayor in 2006 at 28, he was the country’s youngest-ever mayor (gee whiz – RB). Horowitz recalled ( get ready for the real big lies now – RB):

The place looked like a Third World city! The roads were in disrepair! There were no street lights! Fires broke out regularly.!

But today (here we take up the hype gratefully from this helpful start – RB) Vinnytsia, a sprawling city of 370,000, has a reliable tram system, one of Ukraine’s best-functioning train stations, street lights everywhere, and three new hospitals. Using international connections and attracting oligarchs to set up shop in the city, Groysman nearly doubled its budget, from ₴500m (hryvniot, oaf – RB) in 2007 (approximately $100m) to nearly ₴1b in 2010. (Now we offer an unlikely but logical asshole to help the bullshit launch – RB). Koen Carlier, a Belgian national who lives in Vinnytsia, where he heads the local Christians for Israel group, said:

If Groysman does for Ukraine what he did for Vinnytsia, then he will have done something truly great for this nation!

Endeavoring to jump-start (a meaningless term outside normal automobile operation – RB) his city’s economy, Groysman has made use of his ties in Israel (I bet! – RB). He has family in Ashdod which his father visits regularly. In 2012, Groysman welcomed Avigdor Liberman to Vinnytsia for the opening of a state-of-the-art medical diagnostic center that Israel built there (what a joyous day that must have been! This bit is so awful as it stands, that I leave it as a horrible reminder of what I normally defang – RB) According to one Ukrainian official who spoke to JTA under condition of anonymity because he is not allowed to speak to the media, that project demonstrated Groysman’s knack for using his broad network to meet the needs of his constituents and partners. The official said:

With fears of growing international isolation, Israel was anxious to demonstrate that it has allies. Groysman knew this, and he also knew it was a country where politicians are accessible and act fast, so he worked out a symbiosis to benefit his own city.

Groysman’s recent rise in Ukrainian politics owes a great deal not only to what but who whom he knew. He had had a close relationship with Poroshenko long before the latter became president. In 2012, Poroshenko opened Ukraine’s largest confectionery factory in Vinnytsia, adding thousands of jobs (JOBS!!! HEAR THAT, PEONS? JOBS!!! SURVIVAL!!! YOUR MASTERS WILL ALLOW YOU TO CONTINUE TO LIVE, AS THEIR MOST OBEDIENT SLAVES!!! REJOICE!!! – RB). Poroshenko was also a partner in the construction of the Israeli diagnostic center. Poroshenko asked Groysman to become speaker of the parliament shortly after assuming power. In interviews with the Ukrainian media, Groysman spoke of his grandfather Isaac’s survival during the Holocaust, when he pretended to be dead after being dropped by Nazis into a mass grave (yeah, yeah, bring on the fucking gypsy strings – RB). On Jan 27, International Holocaust Memorial Day, when Groysman was the chairman of the Verkhovna Rada, the parliament, he asked other Rada assholes to stand for a minute’s silence in honour of the victims of the Jewish genocide. It was the first time such a gesture took place in parliament. (One might wish that it could be the last, but this is a difficult wish to believe in. The hype may fitly conclude with another Jewish hymn of gratefulness to the fact that Jews give not a shit about anything outside their private universe of being Jews, but the sun shines out of their assholes and you had better call it tikun or something – RB). Horowitz said:

Unlike many who either try to hide their Judaism or just not talk about it, Groysman is a warm and open Jew, because he’s part of a new generation in a new country.

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