this funny spoof by a WSWS reader

Gearoid O’Murchu, WSWS, Sep 9 20-16

Wealthy Russia, determined to get its hands on the rich natural resources of relatively impoverished North America, spends trillions of rubles financing the Ku Klux Klan, Aryan Nations, the NRA, the Tea Party and other right-wing political and paramilitary groups, and sets up, through the poorly-disguised auspices of the former KGB, a smörgasbord of well-funded “civil society” organizations of a uniformly reactionary character, in order to create a semblance of “democratic opposition” to the elected government of Texas, which Russia loudly declares is illegitimate. An earlier “Yellow Rose Revolution,” which had been funded by the same methods, failed miserably to unseat the governor and the legislature. One prominent politician was poisoned, and a few others imprisoned, but the whole sordid affair left the Texas government firmly in the saddle, and the state itself remained within the political and economic orbit of the United States. This, in the eyes of the Kremlin, was an entirely illegitimate outcome. A few years later, the governor of Texas spurns a Russian-led project to bring the state into the Russian-organized NSTO (North Siberia Treaty Organization), signing instead a pipeline deal with the US. This is too much for the Russian bankers! Large anti-government demonstrations, led by the fascist groups, once again put the future of Texas in doubt. Violent attacks against the Texas Legislature result in the roughing-up of Texas lawmakers. The governor’s mansion is set on fire. The Texas governor, fearing for his life, flees to Washington, DC. As the neo-Nazi groups move into the Texas government quarters, hanging up their flags everywhere, and as pro-Russian banking interests take over the legislature, Russian and Mexican government ministers herald the arrival of democracy at long last in Texas! Ambassadors are flown in for press conferences and photo-ops with the right-wing leadership of the “fragile” new democracy.

Because of decades during which the labor movement had been ruthlessly destroyed, thanks to the connivance of all political parties, the labor unions, and the press, no effective popular political support for any established party remains in either Texas or the US. The vast majority of working men and women stay at home, believing they have no say in the events, thus by default leaving the entire political field open to fascistic pseudo-populist parties, well-funded by the KGB. But the US government is not impressed and soon makes known its opposition to the recent developments. Calling the new Texas leadership “fascist thugs,” it accuses Russia of attempting to break up the US into a group of semicolonial dependencies, entirely at the mercy of the Rozhdestvenka Street bankers. One section of Texas, however, has long been aligned with the US. The area around Houston and southeastern Texas begins to see popular demonstrations against the Russian takeover of Texas. They make known that they want to hold a referendum to form a Republic of Southeast Texas, which will secede from Texas and rejoin the US. US diplomatic efforts support this, and soon the referendum is held, which shows that over 90% of the population in the area support secession from Texas. Of course, this means the important seaport of Houston will remain part of the US, and will not fall under Russian influence. Texas support for Russia is strongest in the western High Plains. There, a wealthy blonde woman from Lubbock, a rabid Texas nationalist who made her fortune in the cotton industry, just out of prison where she had been held on corruption charges for eight years, in a leaked telephone call to a supporter in Midland, notoriously calls for the nuclear bombing of Houston and Washington, and for the pro-US traitors to be killed en masse. She also demands the expulsion of all “Jews and Chican-ommunists.”

Russia, dominant in the NSTO, and Mexico City, capital of the SAU (South American Union), start to issue threats of war over the “illegal annexation” of Southeast Texas. NSTO and SAU ministers meet in Mexico City to decide on sanctions and military measures to counter US “aggression” in Texas. The NSTO General Secretary tells the Mexican press that the alliance is considering options “to revise military plans, hold military maneuvers and increase troops in an appropriate way.” He said the extension of NSTO to South America over the last 15 years had been a huge success and proposed that new countries be admitted to the alliance, including Colombia, Bolivia, Argentina, Cuba, and Canada. He did not mention Texas, but said NSTO’s partnership with the state had grown “ever closer.” The vice president of Russia says the US’s annexation of eastern Texas and the Port of Houston is “illegal and illegitimate,” and accuses the US of massing troops in Oklahoma and Louisiana, ready to cross the border into Texas on a moment’s notice. NSTO uses the alleged US troop movements as justification for steadily boosting their military presence in the Rio Bravo (Rio Grande) states of northern Mexico. Russia sends six new Sukhoi PAK FA fighter aircraft (a successor to the MiG-29 and Su-27 fighters) to Coahuila and Nuevo León states, and is negotiating to supply a fighting force of some 3,000 troops, to be known as the ¡Ay Chihuahua! Brigade. Simultaneously, NSTO holds “previously planned” naval war games in the Gulf of Mexico, citing the “defense of freedom of navigation on the high seas” as a justification. Other NSTO members, including Venezuela, are asked to provide high-flying spy airplanes with powerful radars that can look deep into Texas and Pindostan.

Meanwhile, Russia continues to aid and equip anti-US insurgent groups in Canada. Moscow has not forgiven the US for preventing Canadian troops from occupying the breakaway province of South Albertia in 2008. After the bombing of the St. Petersburg Marathon last year, evidence continues to mount that the perpetrators were somehow connected to South Albertian “freedom fighters,” and may likely have had KGB handlers. And certain Russian quarters are still seething with anger against the whistleblower Snovdensky, the ex-KGB employee who exposed the vast spying programs being carried out against the world’s population by the KGB and other Russian security agencies. When Snovdensky is granted temporary asylum in Washington, it provokes hysterical howls of protest on the part of Russian media, military, and government elites. Considering Snovdensky a traitor, many of them openly call for his assassination. These sections of the Russian bourgeoisie would just love to bring Washington to account for this challenge to Russian world hegemony. However, the Russian media is silent on the role that the Snovdensky affair may be playing in the rush to war over Texas.

One Comment

  1. lafayettesennacherib
    Posted September 12, 2016 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    cool. I didn’t spot that one. thanks

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