caitlin johnstone

Why I’m Glad Joe Biden Beat Donald Trump
Caitlin Johnstone, Dec 27 2022

As 2022 winds down and we approach the halfway point of President Biden’s first term, it’s probably a good time to talk about all the wonderful things he has done for the world and remind ourselves how bad it would have been if the election results had turned out differently in Nov 2020. Here are the top seven reasons why I’m very glad Joe Biden won that election instead of the evil, sinister Donald Trump.

1. Trump would have continued abusing immigrants and keeping kids in cages.

Thank goodness that’s over now!

2. Trump was normalizing and whitewashing neo-Nazis.

Neo-Nazis! Can you believe it? Actual neo-Nazis! Why’d we even fight a world war only to turn around and start getting cuddly with Nazis?

3. If Trump had won, the war in Yemen would still be underway.

I’m so grateful Joe Biden won so that he could fulfill his campaign promise and end the worst mass atrocity in the world.

4. Without President Biden, the Iran nuclear deal would still be dead.

One of the most dangerous things Trump did during his presidency was inflame tensions in the Middle East by tearing up the JCPOA. Thank goodness he didn’t win, otherwise Biden wouldn’t have been able to set things right and restore the deal so that tensions can begin to de-escalate.

5. Trump would have kept inflating America’s already bloated military budget.

Luckily we’ve got President Biden in charge, who understands that militarism only leads to more war and all those hundreds of billions can better serve the American people at home.

6. Roe v Wade would be dead if Trump had gotten another term.

Fortunately the American people heeded the Democratic Party’s warnings and prevented the US from turning into an embarrassing backwards Puritanical theocracy where women are forced to carry pregnancies to term.

7. Trump would probably have us on the brink of WW3 by now.

That crazy bastard would probably have us staring down the barrel of nuclear armageddon if he’d won re-election. Thank God he didn’t win!

Yessir, there sure are a lot of reasons to be thankful things turned out the way they did on that crucial November day. Three cheers to the man who saved us from the awful fate of what could have been! Three cheers for President Trump! I mean Biden. President Biden.

One Comment

  1. Rich
    Posted December 27, 2022 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    Sarcasm, Caitlin-Johnstone-style, is even harder to understand.

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