getting off lightly with a merely ruined life

Government Official Who Makes Perfectly Valid,
Well-Reasoned Point Against Israel Forced To Resign

Onion, May 20 2011

State Dept diplomat Nelson Milstrand, who appeared on CNN last week and offered an informed, thoughtful analysis implying that Israel could perhaps exercise more restraint toward Palestinian moderates in disputed territories, was asked to resign Tuesday. Sec State Clinton said in an unequivocal condemnation of the veteran foreign-service officer’s perfectly reasonable statements:

The US deeply regrets any harm Mr Milstrand’s careful, even-tempered, and factually accurate remarks may have caused our democratic partner in the Middle East. US policy toward Israel continues to be one of unconditional support and fawning sycophancy.

Milstrand, 63, will reportedly appear at an AIPAC conference to offer a full apology as soon as his trial concludes and his divorce is finalized.


  1. akageorge
    Posted May 23, 2011 at 6:35 pm | Permalink

    Note to literalists: This is a satirical piece, and Mr. Milstrand does not actually exist.

  2. niqnaq
    Posted May 23, 2011 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    we’d never have guessed that, thank you for opening our eyes to it


  3. Helvena
    Posted May 23, 2011 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    Some stories are true that never happened. – Elie Wiesel

  4. niqnaq
    Posted May 23, 2011 at 7:13 pm | Permalink

    Indeed — and that quote is genuine too, not made up, apocryphal, or merely attributed to Wiesel, but fully and authoritatively authenticated:

  5. Helvena
    Posted May 23, 2011 at 8:01 pm | Permalink

    Yup, that’s where I got it from. It’s certainly a CYA phrase for him 🙂

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